We have nothing to say
And we'll take the right steps to keep these pages clean.
You want the answers and I see them on your face,
You need to know this is where the promise breaks.


Awesome days.
Yesterday, we went to the newly opened 313@Somerset. Both of us went to the cool Epicentre there, and I had no idea that Ash would be posted there too. When he saw me, he waved enthusiastically. Dang, I want a MacBook so badly. ): There's going to be a huge Forever21 and Cotton On too! It's still under construction. And we went to Uniqlo. It was super crowded, but I tried on this hoodie that I really liked! It's black with red around the neckline. Then we went to KFC to grab a drink and Ash was eating there. After chatting for a little, we headed off to where we were supposed to go - Starbucks@Tampines and Cranwell Bungalow 3.

Met Cleris and Val at the chalet for Sara's birthday party celebration thing. I don't think I've ever eaten so much curry in my life before. Hung around, then a cat came around and I started playing with her, and when I sat down, she crawled onto my lap and stayed there. Her tail was curling around and it tickled my feet. I loveee her but she's a aggressive one. She even looks fierce. I was playing with her and she got too excited and she jumped at my hand and didn't retract her claws. So ouch, I have a teeny cut on my right thumb. ): Couldn't stay for long since it was like, in Changi, so we left after the cake was cut.


Met up with Jonathan since he was done with Starbucks at around the same time, so we walked to the bus stop. On the way, we saw a clear view of the full moon and it's so pretty! Along with Orion. That's the only constellation we're familiar with. And after we changed buses etc, we finally reached the bus stop outside my place. Walking halfway, we talked and etc and halfway I broke down. ): I know, so pathetic right. Jonathan was totally helpless. HAHA. Sorryyy. D; Reached home, dad was unhappy with me because I came home late and I didn't give a shit because I'm cool. No, cool is so passe already. Awesome is the word. Heehee.

Pink on my nails!

I'm not sure if you can call this romance.
Even together, we're distant, lonely and apart
But we both look the other way,
Pretend we still believe it.


Windy with sunshine today. Perfect weather.
I'm relatively happy with life, I suppose. Relatively. It could be better, and it should be better. But sometimes you just can't have everything going your way. So anyway, I was forced to pack my wardrobe, again. I discarded a hell load of clothing. Only during the start of this end-of-year holiday did I start to get so crazy over shopping! I've been spending so quickly like crazy and Jonathan's going crazy too. I've decided not to use my working salary and instead put it in the bank for my studying expenses, so I've been living off dad's money. Everytime I get that small bit of money, I spend it all in one day. I use it on food and shopping.

He has been complaining to mummo about it, but I explained to her that it really isn't my fault. I haven't been buying anything for myself for more than two years already, and I've been wearing her old clothes and my aunt's old clothes. All I did was to buy some basic wear so that I can actually step out of the house looking decent - black skinnies, shorts, heels, flats - I'm sorry for the unfortunate fact that I'm not like dad who adores wearing the same clothing all the time day in and out with absolutely no fashion sense at all. And the things I buy are all below thirty dollars per item. The only reason why I feel like I splurge is because I never ever did so before.

So mummo told me to discard all of the old clothes, and anything that I don't wear anymore, just so that it's actually possible to see the little amount of clothing I have. So I did. And while doing so, I realized that I half of my entire pile of clothes consist of school-based tees oversized tees. Yes, I have a thing for oversized tees. I don't give a shit if I look like a paperbox, because they're just so ultrasupermassively comfortable and I adore them. Most of them are from my brother, too big for him too. 1/4 of it consists of jackets, which are also oversized. HAHA. I'm so retarded. And the remaining 1/4 are dresses from long ago. That's how awesome I am.

ANYWAY. Today, I bought superglue. The soles of my heels are tearing out. I suppose I'm a very violent walker. After supergluing the soles to the shoes, I accidentally glued the cap to the tube and now I can never open it again. Instead of being annoyed and frustrated at my own stupidity, I laughed at the irony. ;_; What else what else. Oh right, this morning, Jonathan laughed at me because he received a text from me at exactly 3.19 AM with three words in it - All sold out. I didn't even know! Oh right, since SITEX passed away, I've been slob-styling these two days, but tomorrow I'm watching 2012, Thursday slob-style again, Dean asked me out on Friday but I'm going to stand him up to teach him a lesson [ heehee ], Saturday I got to be home to collect dad's birthday present, Sunday's dad's birthday, Monday's Cleris's birthday celebration at this place called Just Acia. ;D

Winx Club copied Sailor Moon. What the fuck?


I've stopped spamming myself with Copeland and started Anberlin again. I feel this flush of nostalgia and familiarity when I hear the first riff of Godspeed. Then I feel annoyed because I'm thinking about how orgasmic Godspeed would sound on TDK NX-4CD.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle,
Life is a maze and love is a riddle.
I don't know where to go,
Can't do it alone I've tried.


SITEX 2009 is finally over.
Everything for Memorex was sold out except for Mi2001, which had about four to six left. -Phew. Everything was still in stock for TDK, because I think they decided to overstock. Anyway, I made a lot of new friends in SITEX, people from Logitech, Audio-Technica, Toshiba, Epicentre and the other Imation people. I don't want to go through all the details, but I was so excited after work that I couldn't stop going on and on and I think at one point, Jonathan blanked out. HAHA. Too many anecdotes and memories and incidents. I got screamed at, stepped on, laughed at, scoffed at, corrected, rejected, smiled at, praised for, flirted at, groped, frowned at and dissed at by customers from all walks of life, therefore leaving the impression of Expo and SITEX to be a stupid place altogether and I will never work there again.

But I still made plentiful of good friends there too, a few in which I can't even remember their names, but other than that, Eliz, Matthew, Nick, Xiang Hao, Jeric, etc etc etc, thanks for making my days at work slightly better. Anyway. Eliz and I went around walking about SITEX since we still had some time left before break ends, and we went to abKey and just did this lucky draw thing for the fun of it, and we won. HAHA. Now I have this abKey keyboard in pink worth $88 that I will probably never use. I haven't even opened the darned thing, so I'm selling it to anybody who's willing to buy it. I'll sell it at $80. Heehee. And I fell in love with TDK NX-4CD during work, since I promote both TDK and Memorex too. I played my own music on it, including Robert Miles, Darren Styles and Late Night Alumni, and the subwoofer blew me away. I love it. It's $249 going for $149 with any purchase of Audio-Technica accessories or iPod, but I'm thinking of asking Dean to sell it to me for like... $100 or something. Heehee.

TDK NX-4CD is able to play music from mp3 CDs, USB thumbdrives, memory cards and microSD cards, with auxiliary ports, line in and video out ports, with detachable iPod dock adapter that charges and plays from your iPod, iPhone / 3G S compatible, FM radio, alarm clock, wireless remote control. I loveee it. ): And I want iPhone!

I beg you to listen to Copeland's album, You Are My Sunshine. Please! His voice is so mellowed and unique, and the tones are so melacholic and moving, with lyrics so profoundly piercing and mindbreakingly impactful. I love them. They're one of my favourites.

P.S. : Thanks Roy, for the huge birthday post. I didn't see it until now. HAHA. Thank you againnn! <3.

You see, love is a drink that goes straight to my head
And time is a lover and I'm caught in her stare.
And the sentiment there follows me straight to my bed through the night,
I've got my life in a suitcase and ready to run run run away.


I have people more excited about my sweet sixteen than me.
HAHA. Anyway, I was heaped with birthday wishes from everyone. Thank you. I'm so tired. But my friends gave me a Charles & Keith voucher, and I used it to buy that bag I wanted since whenever. My brother paid the rest of the forty as my birthday present. It's actually Cleris's bag, but in gray. Sorry, Cleris! D; Hope you don't minddd. Mummy gave me $50 for my birthday present. Dad didn't give me anything. Jue Hong gave me a huge box of Merci chocolates. Ahhh thanks everyone.

I'm super tired. We walked around Orchard for like so many hours. And then we chatted with Ash from Epicentre in Ion! I think I'm feeling a connection with Epicentre because I keep working thereee. Kind of regret agreeing to work at SITEX. :/ Fucking far. Oh well, life of a promoter.

Now look, we've made a fool out of love
When all we want is to be enough,
When all we want is to feel enough.
It's still not quite the way it was.


Yes, I am back.
I don't understand why I was so pressured about my job, when all I had was fun, fun and so much fun. I worked with two brothers, Francis and Leslie, Francis being the in-charge for our booth. Elizabeth, Eileen and Trudy worked with me too, and Elizabeth's boss, Dean. I'm the youngest one there, the rest all at least hitting twenty. I don't really want to go through every single detail, but I'm being headhunted by three different companies to work as a promoter for their products. HAHA. Now my mind is nothing but Memorex, Memorex, Memorex. I even found myself in the kitchen at 3 AM because of a dream about Memorex. -Sleepwalked. Job was awesome too, because I could find Jonathan at the retail store during my breaks and he came over too.

Next job is Sitex 2009 at Expo. That one's h4rdk0r3 because it's four days straight, with multitudes of people. I actually like being a promoter. Okay, etc etc etc. Today I went out with my besties. They gave me my birthday present today, and they told me that they collaborated with Jonathan on that day when we were out together in a whole big bunch! No wonder he kept pushing me to go to the trip today last night! HAHA. Thank you to the eight people who chipped in for my $20 Charles & Keith voucher. I was so touched. ;-;

I pierced my ears, again. I now have four earholes altogether. Now I have that super outlaw-ish look. Heehee. Had Yami Yoghurt <3 and then some left, so Charlotte, Gwen, Share-tan and I went Novena together. We went to Cotton On and I have no money yet again to purchase this dress I tried onnnn. ): It's $15, but it looks like something someone would wear to clubbing. But I don't know, I really like it.

Nice one, Hui Ying. HAHA.

Whenever I get this way,
I just don't know what to say.
Why can't we be ourselves
Like we were yesterday?


I don't know what to do.
Why do I like to hurt so much?


Update, 6.35 PM. -

Not feeling so well. Sleeping at 4 AM, not fun. I still wonder how people can do this. I used to be able to go all the way until 7 AM, but then because of that going on a daily basis, I got shingles. Of course, that was awhile ago, but I still have the scar on my side, and it's not exactly pleasant to look at. It has been raining a lot recently, and now I'm really cold. Anyway, watched a movie, Gokusen, with Share-tan, her sister Renee, Charlotte and Joey. Being very unlucky, I sat in the middle of all of them. I'm not exactly a fangirl kind of person, but they were, and I was cringing in exasperation when they couldn't shut up. ;-;

And I figured that I was watching a movie with otakus and squealing fangirls, and when the film rolled and the characters came on the big screen, everyone was like,"OH IT'S TAKAKI OR KAME OR [ insert Japanese name here ] OMG SO CUTE SO CUTE -squeeeeee" and I can't help but feel a little out of place. At the first part, everybody laughed so hysterically but Charlotte was asking me why I wasn't laughing. ;-; But the movie was good, and I'm pretty fond of it, but at one point of time I said,"I want Gwynethhhh!" And the girls thought it was funny.

Anddd. I spent so long on my Sonny 2 character and dad decided to Evony on my computer and he just loves to run the CCleaner, clearing all the cookies, thus my saved data is gone. And I hate my sister. I don't even care about her, and I don't even LOOK at her. I leave her alone, just so that she'll leave me the fuck alone. Too bad that doesn't apply to dad too.

Job tomorrow. -Pressure.

Last night, I fell in love without you.
The stars at night aren't as big and bright as you make them out to be.
Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise,
In memory of what we used to call 'in love'.


( The Importance Of Being Idle. )
I haven't been posting regularly, I know. We were supposed to go to MacRitchie Reservoir for a recce, but it got canceled due to unforeseen circumstances such as a lot of people not turning up. D; Only Share-tan, Melina, Val K and I turned up, but Val had to leave last-minute because she had to handle her church stuff. So Share-tan and Melina went from SAFRA to TPY Swimming Complex to swim, and I didn't want to swim because I was having my monthly, so I just sat and played DJ Max on Share-tan's PSP. Then we went to Pizza Hut to meet part of the Bukit Timah group, and went to Orchard with Charlotte, Share-tan and Joey!

Gwen met us halfway because she had to go home to shower and so on and so forth. D; Charlotte's ex-classmate, who is also my ex-schoolmate tagged along. I can't remember who she is though, and she couldn't recognize me. Then Jonathan came to see me and joined us too. So it was like, a big group of us, and I don't know why the girls were all so high and crazy. HAHA. Managed to buy a new pair of flats, thanks to the violent encouragement of the girls. ;-; And Joey looked like a beetle / ladybug in sunglasses. Looool. At 5 PM, the girls had to go, so we departed and decided to have a movie together tomorrow! <3. Jonathan and I just walked around in Ion, and met his friend who was working in Bershka. We wanted to surprise Ash too but he was busy working, so we didn't want to disturb him. ;-; Yeah, so we departed and I went home, winning the rain in the race of time! But now it's storming really badly, so I think rain came back for it's revenge. ;_;

Thanks Share-tan, for the new water bottle, toaster and lending me your PSP to play! Thanks Charlotte, for your chewing gum and for keeping your promise to treat me to Koi bubbleteaaa. <3. Thanks Joey, for going crazy with me in the toilet in Ion with the revolving mirrors and finding the rock 'n' roll dress! Thanks Gwen, for really joining us halfway through and your leftover pasta! Love all of youuu and thanks for the great day.
Thanks Jonathan, for coming down to Ion just for meee! And having to hang around a bunch of noisy girls. HAHA.


Update, 5.18 PM. -

Rain's subsiding! HA. Looks like your awesome natural wrath can't stand against the force of closed windows. You can't get to me now, can you? You're all high and mighty when I'm walking home or outside with an umbrella, but once I'm here, safe and secured, not so high and mighty anymore! -2012 comes. NOOOOOOO~. Sorry, I'm just really bored and sleepy at the same time and I'm trying to keep myself awake by amusing myself really stupidly and lamely but amusement is still amusement. I haven't watched 2012 though. Everyone says it's awesome and I believe them because it really looks awesome from the trailer!

My links are back up because I figured how difficult it is to bloghop around without readily-available and accessible links. I removed dead blogs and locked blogspots though. I'm biased towards livejournals so I don't mind locked livejournals. Heehee. Livejournal gives you limited linkspace so I'm trying to make as much space as possible. I think I should start paying for livejournal. I think it's expensive too. I think I should get hair extensions. I think I should exchange my old Levi's jeans for that $50 discount thing in Levi's. I think I should get another pair of ear-piercings. I think I should start using make-up. I think I should go shopping. I think I should stop using 'I think' because I think it's annoying now. ;-;

Grabbed this from Hao! He made it. Told you I was bored, and nobody does things like that for me to copy anymore! And I'm doing this one really seriously, okay. So read it!

1. Are you in love, like truly in love?
I think I was, it's a love-hate thing. D;

---

Assuming you're in love.

2. Would you go beyond your means, to save/patch things up in your relationship and stick to your partner?
If it means sacrificing my life, then no, because it really defeats the purpose of saving a relationship if one of us is dead. But other than that, then yes, if it's not against the law!

3. How would you react if people gossiped about you?
If they were my close friends, I'd be really dejected, but I'll talk to them one-on-one to find out what's wrong. If they're just acquaintances or affiliates, I'd gossip about them back. HAHA.

4. What would you do if people used those gossips against you?
I'd make something up about them that sounds logical and could possibly be true, and then use it back against them. HEEHEE.

5. What would you do if your partner's parents decided to call you up and ask you to break it off?
I'd be like,"WHYYY?" And if they give a really extremelysuperultimatumly reasonable and logical reason then I would probably consider it, I guess. I don't like raging in-laws anyway. ;_;

6. Would you keep your distance from your partner, although he/she defended you against those accusations made by friends and your partner's family? And, even though he/she have loved and supported you all these while?
I would feel obliged to keep myself distant from my parter for awhile, because I'd feel bad. I mean like, for example once I was being called a whore slut etc, and obviously it'll feel bad if people said that my partner's dating a whore slut etc. So yeah. Maybe when the whole thing clears up, we'll undo the distance, if it's that easy. HAHA.

7. Would you try to clear your name, patch things up with the people mentioned in question 6?
I'd clear my name, but patching things up with those meanies is a different thing altogether.

8. Would you be secretive with the truth with your partner, assuming you're still with them?
Actually yes, I would be secretive. Why would you want to ruin something both of you made with something wrong that YOU did? ;_;

9. Would you help your partner to help you get over it, assuming it disturbs you really bad?
Nope. Never. I'm an independent woman!

10. Would you consider your partner's feelings, before doing anything drastic to soothe your pain/discomfort caused by people mentioned in question 6?
Obviously given a choice, yes. But sometimes you'll never know which one thing you do would hurt one partner's feelings.

The end. ;-;

My boss, or ex-boss, just called me! He asked if it'll be okay for me to work this Friday and weekend under Imation at Suntec Convention Centre at some exhibit thing! I said yes, but he'd have to see if they agree to let me work at 15. Geez. And I'm kind of worried too, since I'm not familiar with Suntec and I don't think I'll be able to find the Convention Centre. I'm bad with directions, I suppose. D; Also, the day just next to the last day of my job would be the Bukit Timah Geographical trip. I'm not doing things right by scheduling everything so tightly together. But life's life. Yay.

One more livejournal cut.
( Epic fail. )
Told you it was literal epic fail! ):

Well just take look at that girl with the lights comin' up in her eyes.
All the guys on the corner stand back and let her walk on by.
She's got to be somebody's baby, she must be somebody's baby,
She's got to be somebody's baby, she's so fine.


Spinning it up with my oldies playlist.
Ah, overwhelmed with fuzzy nostalgia deep inside like inhaling inspired summer air. These lyrics, they're too familiar now; I could sing them all without checking out the lyrics, but with breaking a number of glasses and possibly the windows as well. That's because these people have real voices, and they can sing just as dynamic as they sound like they can in their albums. Unlike now. Promising love songs. -Sniff. ;-;

And Carolyn just told Yarka that she met the lead singer of Chiodos and I love Chiodos to little tiny bits and pieces. Anddd. Amazingly dad has mood swings. Yesterday he was happy and now he's a prick. No more chocolate malt ice cream thing? ): Anyway, I'm going to cut my hairrr. If the hairdresser fucks it up, I'll kill myself. :/

Update later! <3.


Update, 7.36 PM. -

The person didn't screw my hair up. I'm a happy person todayyy. My hair is shorter now, I think. I don't know, I can't tell this way. D; But it smells all funny now because of the shampoo and conditioner thing that they use. Anddd I got nothing else to say. ;_;

North to south, empty.
Running on bravado,
As if to say, as if to say
As if to say he doesn't like chocolate.


Moral of the story:
Don't finally create something actually nice-sounding on Soundation Studio and then try to add another 1 MB beat when dad is hogging the already dirt-cheap wireless. After making three fail-tunes, I gave up. I kept them on my playlist to keep myself feeling accomplished, but I'm not like those talented YouTube DJs who dare to call themselves DJ Panda or DJ Satomi or something, and I asked Roy for suggestions on a name that would not hint any form of relation to me, so we ended up with 'Glow'. I don't know why I'm telling you it anyway, since it completely defeats the purpose of even trying to think up of an annonymous name to hide my tunes that are completely caked in fail. Yesterday and today, same weather. Rainy, rainy days. It's freezing and I love these chills. <3.

Been watching old movies with mummo like Volcano starring Tommy Lee Jones and Tears Of The Sun starring Bruce Willis. I want to watch 2012 and Paranormal Activity but I'm too much of a wimp to do so! Dad was in a good mood today so I'm now filled up with that awesome chocolate malt ice cream thing from Swensen's. Sinful. I'm getting fat. ;-; And I'm still waiting for my contract to end before I can get a new phone! I'm dyinggg for the same phone Val W had and the one Joey has. I hope they don't mind me copying them or something. D;

APEC! I want to see Obama really badly. ): Jonathan brought me to watch the motorcade [ I keep calling it a motorade ] and it was so cool! The traffic police on motorcycles were moving so uniformly, although I didn't see any of those looong limos that I would've liked to see. Then we went to the Esplanade. I loveee Esplanade so much. It's so pretty there.

chris says:
Yarka monthly bleeding penis
^
Loool. Yarka played too much on this!

But now there's nothing left to do but waste my time.
I never knew where to move on,
I never knew where to rely upon
But now there's nothing left to say.


I've triumphed over the impossible.
One fine day somewhere several days ago, Yarka requested another drawing - a Nazi ninja robot zombie hybrid. I told him it was too difficult and just waved it off, and then we never spoke of it again. But then yesterday, I sat down at my desk with a purple marker and office paper in front of me, and suddenly I was hit by a tsunami of enlightenment and produced this comical piece. HAHA.



Sleep tight, baby. ily. <3.


Update, 5.52 PM. -

Should You Return by Copeland. Listen, please? I'll even provide the lyrics here for you! It's so sad. I love Copeland. Too bad Aaron Marsh decided to withdraw himself from the music industry, disbanding Copeland and quitting his vital role in Anchor & Braille. Don't think we'll be seeing another Copeland or Anchor & Braille anytime soon or ever. So it wouldn't be surprising if you can somehow feel some distant familiarity between the material of both bands.

I found some sour preserved thingies inside the fridge, so I opened and ate some, and hell was it sour indeed! My brother just woke up, so he was trying to find something to drink to wake him up, and found some opened tin of random brown substance so he drank it. It was sour too, and he said to mummo,"Tastes like something that'll make all your hair drop off or something." And mummo just ignored him, as always. After downing all that, he got all jittery like he's got Tourette syndrome or something. I laughed. HAHA.

It's freezing! I thought it'd just be a passing-cloud rain, but it appeared otherwise. I also made an electronica song! Or, I tried to, with Soundation Studio. I don't know how baby makes his so nicely. ;-;

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly.
Its hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems.


Currently hooked on two songs.
Both from my workplace. Down by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne, although I keep calling him Sean Paul by mistake and hate Lil Wayne, and Fireflies by Owl City. I've been awfully indecisive today. I painted my nails pink, then removed it, and got purple on it. Then I removed it, and got blue halfway through, then removed it yet again and decided to just buff it. But, I feel weird with nude nails. Going to buy a new colour tomorrow if I have the money and opportunity. And I've been a bad slob today, doing nothing but wasting my life away on this new Kongregate RPG called Ge.ne.sis. It's the most annoying game ever but I still don't know why I'm addicted to it. It's like Elona Shooter, a stupid game but yet you can't seem to pry yourself away from that pathetic train-wrecked excuse for a game. ;_;

( Nonsense comeback! )

Oh, because baby, you're so crazy now,
Feels like I'm not the only one now.
And I can finally see the light,
Oh, there's a million stars tonight.


I haven't been posting, I know.
Thing is, I got myself a job. A boring job, but nevertheless, still a job. I work on alternate days in the Robinsons fair in Expo, hence the Expofair, promoting and selling Philips dect phones and digital photoframes, and Siemens dect phones. I don't even care for electronics but oh well. D; My one-weekend job under Imation in Epicentre@Suntec, which was yesterday and the day before. It's so sad, I love that job so much. I sold like thirty over iPods when I don't even have to promote Apple products, only Memorex, and the colleagues I worked with were very nice people, and I even had supper and a walk to the Singapore Flyer and the Esplanade from my workplace with one of them. Flyer looks so huge [ obviously ] up front!

I ain't going to go through all the details like I used to... I'm too lazy and sleepy to do so. Plus, it's raining! Anyway, thanks to Share-tan for inviting me to her chalet. That was my first time, and it was super fun! Only a few people went and those who went are generally the ones who do all the cooking and cleaning up. HAHA. Yay to us. Thanks girls, had so much fun. <3 Tomorrow, national examination and work after that. I hate my Expo job. :/

'Never allow someone to be your priority
While allowing yourself to be their option'.

You'd like to think that you're the best part of me
But I confess, there is nothing left of you here.
These parallels and silly games,
Hide your face and say the name.


I like to stay in bed for hours after I wake up.
And I like to talk about everything to my besties, and I like telling people about random funny shit even though they don't know what I'm trying to tell them. I like painting my nails in happy colors and combing my hair excessively. I like my bread toasted, ketchup cold, cheese melted, chocolate semi-melted and cookies chewy. I like to laugh about nothing at all, and roll my eyes when someone says something lame. I like to hook arms and I can't be bothered if people are staring when I hug someone. I like to smile and I like to see people smile, and I keep very quiet when I'm angry at someone. I like to sing along to songs I listen to even though I know I can't, and I like to walk around and brush my teeth at the same time, even though the toothpaste falls from my mouth.

I love taking public transport and adore the smell of newly-furnished executive rooms and offices. I cry a lot but not in front of anyone, and I tend to stare at other pretty girls wondering and cursing why I look like me. I fall off my bed at times and bump into corners of tables and sometimes the school dustbins. I'm not quite sure how to blow my nose the right way, and I'm always rubbing my eyes. I spend a lot of money on Body Shop items. I like swimming and basketball even though I can't do both well, yet hate sports. I like to read and can spend an entire day with a book without any food, water or movement. I love ice cream with any form of alcohol in it, and I love cold, solid cheesecakes. I revel in the dry, burning sensation at the back of my throat after I down a shot of vodka, and I love coffee.

Whenever I have the chance, I can rant on and on and then realize the poor person at the receiving end and then apologize profusely. I love window-shopping and enjoy walking around town munching on small foods that I call 'portable food'. I hate peanut butter, margarine, mayonnaise and butter. I like peanuts. I often think really hard about what I would choose between Mars and Snickers, Flyleaf or Paramore, Lydia or Imogen Heap, Sunshine or Gardenia, blue or green and to eat or not to eat. I like people, and I always believe that the best relationships come from long friendships. I want to feel good about myself but I tried and can't. I'm not used to praises so I get edgy when I get them. I'm not one that cares about brands, and always looks at the price tag before deciding to try it on.

I always forget to breathe when I kiss, and I like eating whipped cream with my fingers, although I try not to. I love blowing kisses to my friends and then laugh at their reactions. I have my flaws as well; I always think I'm correct, even when it's obvious that I'm wrong. I am extremely stubborn and can be very rude when I get irritated. Sometimes I get cynical and I tend to be cold to somebody new when that person actually meant well. I do the things I want, and don't bother about others or anything else if I think its' not important. I'm always down on myself, and that annoys and depresses people around me most of the time. I love answering questions and love to teach people because I like talking. When I'm excited, I giggle a lot and hug the one closest to me.

And this is me, and I'm really sorry that you couldn't accept it. Friends -1.

Update, 1.05 PM. -

yarka says:
Night, yapzhenlinbluenailshotlikefirevryvryaznhotbluenoglasseswomanblue

Roy Åne~! says:
Goodnight, Tiffanysweetiecaptainofawesomeness~

HAHA. They make me laugh, always.

But over and over again,
I'll clean your wounds tonight
So we can rewind it all 'til I come inside.
I'll tear in two and never lie to you.


I miss those times.
When love letters were still in sincerity and existence, and 'I love you's were so sacred and so often unheard of that it was almost a miracle to utter it.  When courtship goes slow and steady, with hands brushing against each other, fleeting glances and secret smiles, taking more than just a few months before two get together as one. And last night, when I was waiting for the bus home, in front of me was a couple holding hands. To my left, two hugging each other. I turned behind - goddamn it - a couple just kissed. Even as I walk around Raffles City, this bestie of mine named Cleris was on the phone with her other half. Feels pretty alone.

Took solace in my music, and reached home at 10 PM-ish. Thanks for the wonderful day, Cleris and Val W! We went swimming yesterday, and both of them are really skinny, so they could flaunt everything that they want, wearing bikinis and running around alongside the pool. For me, I have to wear shorts below. HAHA. In attempt to boost my self-confidence, they stripped me off my shorts. Anyway, Cleris lent me her navy-blue tube dress, and I wore it around Orchard with them. My nails are blue now too, although I'm going to get Val to repaint them for me. Gwen, give me my phoneee! Anyway, I saw this Charles & Keith newly arrived bag and it's soooo gorgeous. It's again, so steep, about $60. I want that baby so badly. I can't find a picture of it though. ;_; I want Cleris's bag too, but in grey. ):

My wireless is being a retard again.
Chalet with fourfive, tomorrow Tuesday! -Excited. ;D


Update, 8.30 PM. -

In Retrospect, It Was Obviously Hell by Anchor & Braille is probably another song that couldn't be any more fitting. I love it, it's so disheartening and depressing.

Living in a world so cold,
Wasting away.
Living in a shell with no soul
Since you've gone away.


Oh my, today was wonderful!
I was walking to the train station, and saw the familiar long hair and starry-patterned bag, and ran to my beloved Suks and bumped into her on purpose. Teehee. We went to school together, and when we reached school, I felt like I haven't seen my classmates in such a long time. They said I looked different because of my tan. While waiting for assembly to begin, I was helping Chelsea with her speech. Then we went for assembly, etc, then I forgot what happened, then we had class partyyy! It was potluck kind of thing. Chelsea brought jelly, Huijie brought fried noodles and rice, Gwen brought sausages, Lavinia brought fried chicken, Hillary brought gummy, Val W brought fruits, Sara and Suks brought samosas and I can't remember everything. But I ate so much, I almost puked. Michelle and I had a 'jelly-eating competition' and I just swallowed the jelly down without biting and won. HAHA.

Then Hui Ying gave me my early birthday present. Thank you! <3 And Sara, being my secret pal, bought me some cute yellow plushie thing and a letter that touched me so much that I cried and she was hugging me like mad and telling everyone about how powerful her present was. I was Melina's secret pal, so I bought her nail polish! I hope you like the colour. I don't really know what you like! ): After that, the F&N girls had to go for some bakery course. I partnered Cleris, and everyone baked a cake!

Anddd. I'm glad you're quite happy for once, Yarka. ;D
Tomorrow, last day of school and progress report. I hope I don't get retained. And I already calculated my class position! Putting myself behind all the smart people like Share-tan, Charlotte, Huijie, Gwen, Melina, Riju, I'm at 18 / 21. Want to bet, anyone?